Drew: Santa don't drink milk, mommy.
Jenn: What does Santa drink then?
Drew: Beer

Thank again Budweiser commercials for your great audience influence

Today Mr. Lennon, your words still ring true. You are missed

As I near the point where future plans will actually start putting themselves in sight, I wonder what I am actually meant to do. Others realize that this must be figured out already but I'm not entirely sure what the answer is for me. I have had many achievements in life and 2 that I am more than excited about.
1. I found someone who loves me. I don't mean that I was always hated by everyone. I mean, I found someone who truly loves me for who I am. She is not required to be around me, was not encouraged swayed or persuaded to pursue me. She could have had any other friend, partner, companion, lover, amigo, etc. She chose me and that itself is a humbling thing that a woman THIS AMAZING has chosen me to spend forever with. This is a true blessing.
2. I have been given the opportunity to start and international entertainment corporation that is specifically designed to revolutionize the strategies and inner workings of the entertainment industry. Being the financial "number cruncher" for something THIS HUGE is truly rewarding. 40 years from now my name will be written down in the books as a co-founding father of this bold, never-before-attempted, masterpiece of a company. Words truly don't exist for the way that this makes me feel. I am more than awe-struck at the way God places these things in my life.

So into the future I look. Confused, exhausted, amazed, anxious, and brave. Who knows what more I can add to this list in the future.

                  "And even though you know your heart is breaking For a little longer still you must be whole to love the life that's given for the taking And to give the love the living's given for"

 Sometimes we are afraid of giving up our center and sacrificing the largest parts of ourselves, but at times we realize that this is the most plausible and necessary action. I have decided that part of my life must be gone and my heart must return to the vital resources it once knew. I cannot please them and I won't try.

Don't let anyone shoot down the desires of your heart because they are "uneducated and foolish". Follow your heart and do what you have to do for God and for yourself. No one has better advice for your future other than God. If He is a part of your love life and happiness, that is all that matters and you need to pursue it! Your heart belongs to God and no relationship, even family, is worth giving up the chance of true sacrificing love that can never be severed.

As of now, I officially quit the fight to win the unattainable prize. My life makes no sense to you and nor yours to me. I have to do what I have to do for me. I have to believe that God will hold me upright next to his heart. Your internal struggles leaking out have exhausted all that I am. I can no longer bare your pain or the misery of any concern regarding you or your mistakes. Please know that I will always love you and I am always here. I cannot accredit any words that have been offered by you nor abide by any of your advice that aids a vain effort. The ocean my tears and grief from you my sand, all that has injured me is drowned. I now part to the desert. Dry sand unknown to me is a fresh life that is untouched by misery. There is plenty more crying to be had but from now on, in joy. You are on your own and God is there if you need anything. True sacrifice is understood only in its immediate action put in to place. You are a burden I must purge from my life and I refuse to inflict any more of your pain on myself or the relationship with my Father who loves me. Peace be with you, Prayers are endless, I love you!

And one day faith, too, shall become obsolete

My 20th Birthday was this week. WOO HOO...not really. Birthdays have never been an exhuberantly happy time to me. I haven't had a party since I was like 12 and I get irritated when people act unrealistically nice to you just because it's your birthday. It's dumb and weird. For years after year in my youth I either spent the birthday at church camp on someone else's schedule or at home alone because mom and dad were out of town. The only thing I really look forward to on my birthday is the greetings I get from people. They may not be closest friends or strong relationships but it says something that they took 5 seconds from their day to say Happy Birthday to you.

I get a brief Happy Birthday text from mom on her way to work that morning but then I hear nothing all day. After I get off work, I call her to initiate conversation when her voice inflection clearly stated that she did not care to talk at that time. No greeting was given. Once getting back from eating dinner with my girlfriend, sister, and various other friends, my sister asks "So, did you have a good birthday?". Now me and my sister have been working on our relationship as siblings and being supportive of each other so for her to concerningly ask me this particular question really meant a lot to me. At that point I thought and immediately grew into a deep state of emotional pain when I realized that neither of parents bothered to make at least a 4 minute phone call to simply say Happy Birthday and I Love You. When I got home and checked facebook, I noticed my mom left a facebook note on my wall. I guess it serves as the same for some, but at the least, your parents should make a phone call.

Now my parents have never been the kind to be emotional, rational, or truly comforting in most situations of this matter so I wasn't really surprised but nonetheless hurt. I was 18 before my dad told me, "Son, I'm proud of you" for the first time. I remember crying like crazy out of pure excitement. My whole life, my parents have always acted like I was some burden on them because they spend their money, their time, their money, their stress, their money, --oh and did I mention their money?-- to support me. Since I started college, I rarely ask for anything because I know that if I ask for 5 dollars from them, then I get a guilt trip 2 months later because I just bought a 89 cent limeade and it wasn't necessary.

Their spending, social, and relational habits have always been a LARGE thorn in my side but I keep it quiet because it's honestly not worth another fight over. I have fought too many battles over it and I just rather ignore it and do my own thing anyway. I guess their money and their own personal wants and whims will always be loved more than the real treasures of life.

I know that they do care, sometimes, and for the most part they do love me, just perhaps, but it comes in spurts. I believe Haley Williams said it well "we've got to find other ways to make it alone, keep a straight face. And I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance."

So I have a new friend. This person may not realize it themselves but our pods were separated somehow years and years ago. Who knew that today would be the day I realized I found him/her. If you think about it, you still won't know who you are. Every time I get a new song in my head or just learn a new one, it shows up on your page. Every issue you have day to day directly corresponds with the life I am living and if that's not enough, our reactions are generally identical. The one thing we don't have in common, I don't read. Oh well, I guess all friendships aren't perfect! I wish you well and I look forward to our new found friendship and all of the hidden "you know what I'm talking about" moments and inside jokes that neither one of us will know the other one gets. Well to you, My Friend, good day!

So I don't know if you ever get disappointed over small things that really don't matter to anything in life, however, recently I have found myself in this category. Domino's Pizza has completely revolutionized online ordering! It even has an interactive alert process letting you know Who is preparing your food, When it's placed in the oven and even When its sent out for delivery. Sound too good to be true?

After a long day and a frustrating evening, I was too tired to cook and too upset to go anywhere. Sounds like the perfect night to order pizza to me. After ordering the pizza online and paying for it with my convenient Easy Pay Account on Dominos.com, I waited, waited, and waited. After 40 minutes I called to ask where my pizza was that was supposedly sent out by "Daryl" for delivery. I thought "Domino's, We deliver in 30 minutes or your order is free!" This was the first of ruined beliefs. I asked the guy where my pizza was and alerted him that the online tracker stated that the order was already delivered. He responded by telling me that it was a computer generated timer and that it is in no way tied to the actual order. WHAT!? So much for personalized service!!! I have always been most amazed by this interesting feat of technological intelligence!

Day by day I lose my faith in technology. It slips away as it fails me and proves itself more ignorant than a 3 month old comatose snail thriving on no life at all! I guess life as we know it is only as difficult as we allow it to be or even perhaps make it. The simplicity is still there; hidden by our wretched greedy need to be "convenient". Sorry, but I don't consider waiting 73 minutes for a pizza, convenient, especially when an ignorant source tells you to expect it in 30!

A heart left behind is recovered
Refugee in the temple
It cries praise
United once again with the soul

It is new and scared
Confusion interrupts clarity
Whom shall pull the twine from this knot
It is woven tight and firm

Once lone mobility is slow
It creeps as if it were hindered by the unknown
Once it passes
It crashes from confidence in void

Does this kindle the unwaxed candle
A death turned back
Life is restored
Everything must be relearned

New blood is the wine

I drink to see things I have never seen

It shows a light that is faint

Unknown, yet familiar

I hear a faint text, no voice

Telling me of a mistake

Unrecognized to the heartless

No longer hidden

It haunts me

Oh should I have drank

Now drunken I sit and await

The ending

The result

The solution

The final drop is passed

In the green I hyde

The soul lifts to blue

The rainbow is before me

Though there is no gold here

A lamp stands unlit

It’s light has no power here

It exists simply

To look over the water

A sea of faces is raging

Careless to the land around it

Paying no heed to the struggling life

That is desperate for air

The serpentine looks at me

As if it were a lost friend

Somehow there is a distance now

I know it no longer

The violet stands out

Only surrounded by green

And a faint blur of life

It is robust and loud

It speaks to me

The words are clear

I am with you

Your pain is seen

Somehow after a brief conversation

The contrast fades out

I am once again left

With words that resonate in my mind

The sea still rolls

Life still gasps

I am here

Blind to the message.

Isaiah 5:21
   "Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight."

Wouldn't you say that it is impossible to do God's will and follow His plan if you do not know what it is? Often, we see happiness and think, "Oh, this must be of God to be so great and happy!" Many times we let our own cleverness and wisdom over-shadow the blindness and humility it takes to see God's actual path for each of us. If we come helpless, His help is seen. So when we find our calling in ministry, often it is a gift that we have over-looked due to its insignificance to our personal lives. Perhaps some of our calling is not necessarily to be a working part of each individual ministry that exists, instead, some of us exist to know about various ministry needs and the lack of God's people and be able to connect others with their individual talents to a ministry suiting to their gift of service. Maybe my job isn't to build a house, instead through my passion for those in need, search for someone who has been given that as a gift and let them make that their service. Maybe my service is connecting others who may serve each other in the talents specifically given to them and thus serving the Kingdom altogether in a whole new way. Maybe hands on isn't everyone's calling! Service is so dynamic! 

The day we, as a people with a pre-destined purpose to serve others, realize that who we are is but a one time genuine copy of who we accept ourselves to be, is the day we can start walking on a revolutionary path to be the reflection of holiness. We musn't accept ourselves as anything less that a satisfactory fulfillment of the privileged task we have from God. "Go forth in to the nations, and teach them of me.."When we acknowledge that it is not acceptable to poorly ignore this task, we will capture a never before seen glimpse of grace that flows from the heart of God. There is only one thing that defies the laws of gravity, physics, and science, pharmaceutical theories, business ethics, economic patterns, trauma and response from natural disasters, hate, violence, and hunger. That is a genuine passion for those who have not experienced the grace of God. When is this passion possible? When we shatter our mirrors and replace them with transparent lenses to see the world and not ourselves!

As Earth turns, so the sun and moon
Fade in and out in a mutual attempt
To glorify the sky
In dynamics of a personal light

Waters flourish through the land and sea
To suffice the thirst
Of the savage inhabitants
Who fight for satisfaction

The quiet babe lies in peace
As a new turtle fights for life
In an involuntary independence
Where life is a victorious battle.

Insomnia attacks the heart
With dark lack of ambience
Around ones eyes, in a war
For a closure that is unattainable.

In a waking fight for breath
The food of my soul is the
Beautiful, unsurpassingly perfect smile
That only she displays so well.

So as I am waiting for my rice krispy treats to cool down and harden. I am sitting here thinking about the happiness that I used to experience when momma poured that chilled milk over a bowl of silent krispies and woke them to speak sundry happy things that made me smile and gave the greatest start to a day of 3rd grade. I miss my childhood days sometimes...or at least certain memories from then anyway. Ah I think they are ready. Love Life My Amigo!

I consider myself a fighter for the soul. I don't go with any flow without figuring out what causes the flow to flow my way. You can say life is like a puzzle when down to it, puzzles are like life. Though I wonder is anyone listening? If someone can feel more understood and heard themselves. I have accomplished much. So to my faithful listeners, thank you and I hope peace finds you!

As I lay and ponder fates immortal goals of action,
my place seems individualized
by personality and triumphant persistance.

Roses don't bloom by coincidence,
Their pedals specialized perfection,
And their aroma, a raptus intoxication.

Suddenly light becomes of a precise tool
Piercing through layers, incontinent to limits
Its love is tough

Oh me, you inquire
Im a novel that has no plot,
An impervious fortitude with a clay soul

Don't fret for these, my comrade
For nothing can explain the origin
Simply put, unique

Sagaciously knowledgeable and quick witted,
Its a form that can't be imitated
A technicolor sky.

As mother, brother, and sister Earth look up and excogitate their place,
I am calm, warm, nourished, and
Understood by my neighbors
Who too live
In a pod

So I've come to realized that...
Common courtesy is dying
Like seasons, life with people changes
Hearts will break, with or without a shield
Happiness cannot be imitated
Time does not heal all
Love is a force and often an acquired taste
The tunnel only has a light if it's bright on the outside
Pain is a gift
Passion brings you past the limit
Masks rot over time
Roses only smell sweet when they bloom
Some books can be judged by the cover
Mirrors are a terrible resource
Tears cleanse better than sleep
Fear is an education
Dreams can't change the world
Change only works until change, itself, is modified
Life would cease if our Hearts were never broken

Life is a funny thing. It'll point a gun at your face and tell you everything is going to be ok after it has already stabbed your friend in the back and fell in love with your parents. It will water your Grandma's garden right before it burns down the farmers crops. It's not a river you can flow with, a train you can ride, or a wind you can fly on. It's a hurricane, a drunken soul, and a confused heart. What you make of it, or allow it to be made into determines what you learn!

Sometimes I wish I lived in an Airstream
Homemade curtains lived just like a gypsy.
Gypsies never get tied down!

Sometimes I wish I lived on a mountain
Drank from a stream not from a fountain
I'd stay there on top of the world!

Unbridled or tethered in tide
The safety of the fence
Or the danger of the ride
I'll always be unsatisfied

Sometimes I wished I lived by a pier
In a lighthouse with a chandelier.
I'd watch the sky as ships roll in,
Then I'd sail away with them

Unanchored in a storm
Or save me on the shore
If this is all I need,
Why do I want more

Jennifer says-"Drew, I'm gonna eat your easter egg if you dont get it!"

Drew says-"Want some tony's on it?!"